My boy had a self esteem problem. It started sometime in primary 5. In fact, he still does, even though he's sitting for his O levels this year.
For some reason, he doubts his capabilities, and doesn't really bother to do his best when faced with a challenge or task. Whenever I speak to him about it, he's actually able to tell me that he doesn't think he will be able to do the job right. When I ask why, he says he just knows he won't be able to get it right.
I've always wanted him to have a high self-esteem, to be confident of his abilities. He's not stupid nor untalented (he plays the organ quite well actually). He's not an A student either. But the main problem is that he doesn't believe he can excel. So he doesnt even try. And that becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. I've ready that other kids with an esteem problem end up becoming bullies or controlling. Jason's not like that. He's a good boy.
Having only noticed this problem really since he entered secondary school (he goes to Catholic High), I've come to realise that he lacks a sense of trust or security. I've always been there for him, but can't say the same about his father, who travels a lot. I kinda regret that we've not give him a complete, secure household to grow up in. I worry that he won't grow out of this problem and that it might affect his future success in his education and his career.
I've started spending much more time with him. We go out on weekends to the movies or shopping (although many a time, he insists on going out with his friends). I just want to be good mother, and to give him the best fighting chance at developing a healthy self esteem, and to learn to be confident in everything that he does. It pains me to see a talented, healthy young man, fail to do his best because he doesn't believe enough in himself.
- Jill